T’was the night before separation when all through the Land
The Liberals were dancing, excessive tax revenues in hand.
While the stockings of residents, homeless or not
Were filled with inflation and expenses that came from dumb Liberal thought.
The homeless were nestled where they put their heads
While visions of affordable housing danced in their heads.
And Granny in Cape Breton, her home heated not,
Cursed feebly at Ottawa for the heat pump they brought.
While out across Rideau there arose such a clatter
As the PM and his cabinet partied over the matters.
Said Justin “Carbon taxes have filled our coffers,”
Replied his mistress, “Let’s spend it saving the otters.”
Freeland hushed all as she quietly said,
“Our coffers are overflowing, not from EVs,
Nor digital, nor Carbon, nor Fintech,
But thank the Saudis and Russkies for the price of
Western Canada Select.”
The group then doth protested
With Guilbeault proclaiming while hugging a tree,
“Damn the West and freeze the banks.
We must bring them to their knees!”
He continued, “Justin, please hop on a plane,
Go look and report why oil revenue is giving such support.
Make one trip then two, then maybe four
But go fly about, look into it more.”
Trudeau put down his bottled water,
And his plate loaded with beef.
“I will go fly often and make many a speech,
Proclaim carbon a problem, then plastics, then meat.”
“I’ll unify our natives then sneak off to surf,
But most importantly I will embarrass our allies and
Invite our enemies
To make Canada worse.”
From New York a Butts with privileged contract in hand,
Stood on his sandals as he pronounced,
“Canada doesn’t work for them, it works for us,
With lifelong contracts, appointments, pensions so much.”
“We will not get coal from Santa, for we have plenty in Vancouver Port
And we’ll steal power from Labrador and sell it full price to New York.
There is much work for us, we need not fear,
That the common folks will work one, two jobs or three.”
On Freeland, on Guilbeault, on Butts and Joli
On Justin and Chretien and the old Liberal guard
On guard against the west,
Who’s work ethic and values they fear.
Joyeux Noël à tous et vive l’Ouest libre!